Words matter
- Written by Eric North aka “The Happiness Warrior”
When I was young I remember my grandfather’s ability to know the definition of any word that I could pick out of a dictionary. It didn’t matter how difficult it was to pronounce or rarity of it usage. At first I thought it was a trick, but no matter how hard I tried to fool him with he always knew the answer. He had a way with words and a natural gift as a speaker and writer. He wasn’t the kindest and at times he was terrifying, but his love for language and words was an inspiration. The words we use tell us who we are and how we’re perceived by others. They are passageways to our truth and self-esteem. They’re important elements to giving our lives more meaning.
Finding and using the right words in their best context and definition has always been something that’s mattered. It’s choice for all of us that determines are ability to express ourselves and live our lives fully.
Words have power and words have spirit. Once said or thought they never disappear and can last forever. Changing their nuance but never their intention. When we learn the value of choosing our words wisely we can take our lives to new places, dimensions of ideas and experiences.
The words for ourselves and others can have a profound impact on our self-esteem and understanding of our true selves. Words can be carelessly sprung at others to hurt and control them. Harmful words that once uttered can destroy our spirit. Words that can never be taken back or forgotten. Regret for something said in a moment of hot-headed passion. Unleashed in the universe and hard to come back from.
Or we can choose to speak and use words to lift and inspire ourselves and those around us. A protective force guiding our actions, spirit, and personal happiness. Feeling a surge of empathy and connection from words that are both validating and life-affirming. It doesn’t take a genius to know that the words we use are important in all our endeavors. We all have the choice to be thoughtful and kind. Our life journey will always have obstacles and struggles, but how we choose the attitude and mindset we select is how we better help ourselves and others.
AN OLD STORY WITH AN IMPACT
When I was a freshman in high school I hadn’t yet learned how to develop my body. I was bookish, shy, thin, and not very athletic. I hadn’t yet discovered the value of taking care of my body and building my self-confidence and stature. Gym class was a trial at times, that often left me feeling numb and disconnected. I lurked on the sidelines as much as possible in a defensive state of mind. As traumatizing as gym class was at times, I managed to forge through it without much stress or dysfunction.
All was well until we started a course in gymnastics. I hadn’t yet discovered my athletic ability and was clumsy and not as focused and coordinated as I am today. I was insecure with something that seemed beyond my capabilities. Fear of the unknown and my impending failure. Filled with the anxiety that came from knowing that at some point all eyes would be watching my routine and I’d be graded.
I did my best and tried to keep up, but the day I was dreading soon came upon me. The day that I would have to show our teacher what I had learned and demonstrate my capability. I don’t remember much about him other than he was kind and looked very strong. But nothing mattered and I was a ball of nerves. I just wanted to get it over and go off and hide in a corner. Before we began my routine, I uttered these words, “I'm not very good at this”. I’ll never forget his immediate response “never tell anyone that you’re not good at something before you even try, that’s setting yourself up for failure that you don’t deserve.” His wise advice which both enlightened and embarrassed me at the time, has resonated with me throughout my life. They were words that I heard as I began any new venture. What really matters is mindset and intention.
WORDS DETERMINE OUR JOURNEY
Most of us take words for granted and use them carelessly. We can get caught up in our emotions and react quickly with fire and malice. We may not mean it at the time, but we allowed our emotions to take over our critical reasoning. We can say things that might never be forgiven or forgotten. This reveals who we are and plays into our insecurities. Unresolved conflicts and emotions will only rebound and renew their painful words with vigor. Darkness encompassing our innermost thoughts and daily interactions.
We can learn a great deal about other people by the word they choose and how they deliver them. Are they obviously insecure, greedy, two-faced, or insincere? Are they pandering and obsequious? Words can reveal their motivations, character, and intention. There are infinite ways to vocalize our feelings, how someone chooses to reveal them always has meaning.
WORDS CREATE INFLUENCE AND LIKEABILITY
Much like hypnotists’ influencers are trained to use certain words to imagine possibilities and outcomes. They can help us to overcome barriers in our thinking and discover new pathways to live and dream. They can be dangerous as much as they can be beneficial. They know that their words have power and know how to verbalize and communicate their message. Words have power to move others in new directions. Their secret is in how we use them. Words are the vehicle for change and motivation. The secrets of the universe are just waiting for us to give ourselves permission to find them.
LIARS ARE ALL THE SAME
Research tells us that there’s a direct correlation between word choice and truthfulness. People who are truthful will usually use singular pronouns such as “me” or “I”. They include words that exclude and help us find the truth, “except” and “yet” are two examples. They are specific and the lines between details are always confidently stated.
Liars will struggle to draw correlations and are often evasive and inconsistent with subject matter. They’ll speak in proclamations and nuance. Never clear on where they’re going and uncomfortable with facts or questions. They often draw other people into their stories as victims or blame them. Their truth always changes with each situation.
WORDS HAVE PERSPECTIVE
When we pay attention to our own and others' words we can begin to dig deeper into our true desires and base impulses. How we listen and how the words are delivered are usually more important than the literal meaning of the words. By paying more attention we can begin to empower ourselves to make better decisions and be less judgmental of ourselves and others. Listen to the tone and ask if it’s cynical and negative? Or is it positive and life-affirming?
In this world of constant strife and division there are those who are destined to lead the way through the darkness and division. They are words that unite rather than harm or conquer. They are empathetic and always seeking to raise self-esteem and self-awareness. This is how we heal the world with words and positive vibration. The inherent moral weakness of those that seek to control us will gradually sink and destroy their evil mission. They’re outnumbered by those who seek to do good with their lives. When used with the right words with intention and purpose happiness is more obtainable and becomes a way of life and reality. Words have both great power and spirit!
Eric North
IG @TheHappinessWarrior1
www.thehappinesswarrior1.com
